Wulf Space Jam – Match 3: Vs Southstorm Squig Chasers (Goblin)
My break is over, and Blood Bowl beckons yet again. Will our opponents put up a good fight? Have I lost my touch over Easter? I guess we’ll find out today.
This time we’ll be facing a goblin team: The Southstorm Squig Chasers. I’ve only fought against Goblins once before, and while it started out tough, by the end they only had four players left standing. That was against my highly trained Nurgle team though, so I’m a little more apprehensive this time.
(Future Wulf note: I forgot to put on the grid and names before playing. I only remembered towards the very end, so the commentary might not be as good as usual. I apologise, and will do my best to not have it happen again.)
Okay, let’s start by taking a look at their roster.
The cheating, blight-ridden, little buggers… how the hell did they get two level 3 Trolls? And three players with Secret Weapons, including a Ball-And-Chain Fanatic. At least those are all level 1.
As far as I’m aware no team cheats more than the Goblins. There’s even specific rules targeted against them for that reason. Like how Stunty is less effective for players with Secret Weapon, and Pitch Invasions KO players with Ball-And-Chain.
I have a feeling they’re going to field all Secret Weapon players in the first drive, so as long as we can survive that, and maybe even make it a short one, we should be in good shape.
They have for some reason given both trolls Break Tackle. I did notice on the season stats that one of them had actually scored a touchdown. I suppose they maybe use the trolls for Blitzing. This guy has gotten Piling On as well, which let’s him re-roll the armour and injury roll for any players he knocks down, so long as he follows up. A nasty trick I’m not surprised a Goblin coach would pick. The other Troll has Guard, which could cause us trouble.
While weak stat-wise, and easily injured because of Stunty, the Chainsaw does give this bastard an edge. He’s pretty much guaranteed an injury if manages to knock an enemy down, since the chainsaw gives +3 to Armour rolls. If he however rolls a 1 on his attack roll, he will damage himself instead, with the same +3 penalty. Apparently that is applied if he’s knocked down as well, assumedly because the chainsaw falls on top of him, or he falls on it.
I’ve been in matches with Bombardier players more than once, since there’s one Star Player you can hire with inducements that has it, but I’ve never actually seen them use the bombs. Hopefully we’ll be able to stop that this time as well, because they seem painful.
This guy is pure evil. The Strength 7 really hurts. The Ball-And-Chain is really too large for the small goblin to wield properly, so he spins around from square to square at random. He can’t be tackled, but he can spin into a player and perform an automatic block against them. On my Nurgle team I think at least two players were KO’d by the Fanatic in the first few rounds.
You might imagine this guy is cheating too, but no, the pogo-stick is allowed. It gives him the Very Long Legs skill, which makes him especially good at intercepting the ball, and it also makes sure his Leap never fails. So he can basically just jump over anyone he’d like, or jump away from anyone he’d like. Luckily he’s easy to knock down.
And here are their footsoldiers. They’ve got 11 of these little buggers, so there’s a fair deal of reserves. Six of them are leveled up, though only this fella up here to level 3. Apart from one guy who’s been given Catch, they’ve all been given Side Step. Is that really the best Agility can offer them when they already have Dodge? Now here’s where some weird strategies may come in. See, these guys have Right Stuff, meaning the Trolls can potentially pick them up and throw them, even if they’re carrying the ball. The risk is that the Trolls are Always Hungry, so they roll a D6 before they throw the Goblin, and on a roll of 1, they’ll attempt to eat their team-mate. This rolls another D6, and if they get another 1, the Goblin is swallowed whole. Chances are that even if the throw happens, it will be fumbled, but we should be wary.
So yeah, a lot of Stunty on display here, and not a single player with Block. They’ll be hard to tackle, but easy to block, and very easy to injure. If we can survive/avoid all of their secret weapons, we could score a lot of SPP here. Or the Secret Weapon players will murder half our team in the first drive. That depends somewhat on Nuffle.
Topic of the Day: Star Player Points (SPP)
These are the coveted player-awarded prizes that you need in order to level up your players, but how exactly do you get them, you might wonder? Well, you are in luck, because I am about to tell you.
Most Valued Player (MVP): This award is given to one player per team per match, and is worth 5 SPP, making it the biggest single-gain of SPP any player can get. Unfortunately there is no way to predict who gets MVP. The selection seems to be entirely random, though legend has it that the Blood Bowl League board arrives at a choice behind closed doors. Possibly involving copious amounts of alcohol, and dart throwing.
Touchdown (TD): A touchdown scored awards the scoring player a whole 3 SPP! And if you’re both good and lucky you might be able to score more than one touchdown per game. The computer somehow manages to simulate games where 4 or more TDs are scored, but I’ve never managed more than 3.
Casualty: A casualty caused as the result of a Block action will give the player causing it 2 SPP. I believe this even applies to a Both Down with neither player having Block, and one gets injured. To be clear, a casualty is an injury or a death. KOs are not casualties. Casualties caused from tackling, fouling or pushing a player out of bounds do not give any SPP. I believe casualties from a foul did give SPP in earlier rule-sets, but not in the current rules.
Interception: If a player manages to successfully intercept a thrown ball, they gain 2 SPP. This is remarkably rare, partially because throwing passes is so rare, and partially because the dice just do not favour intercepting. I think I’ve seen one successful intercept in the 30-40 games I’ve played.
Passing: Throwing a successful pass will gain the throwing player 1 SPP. This has to include both a successful throw and a successful catch.
Those are the only actions that will gain a player SPP. You might now be wondering what the SPP are for, and how leveling up works. I will cover that next time.
Hint of the Day
Did you know: Go-for-its can get your players killed? All players can move (at least) an additional 2 squares above their movement allowance, but they have to roll a go-for-it D6 per square, and on a 2+ they’re safe. But if they do roll a 1, and you can’t (or won’t) re-roll it, they will fall down, and then have to roll for armour. If the armour breaks, they will have to roll for injury, and that could result in death. Regardless it will end in a Turnover if they fall, so keep that in mind whenever you need to move just one more square.
– – – MATCH BEGINS! – – –
Though our team value has now increased to 1160, the Goblin buggers still lead with a value of 1360, so we get 200 000 in petty cash to spend on inducements. While it’s tempting to get two extra re-rolls, I have to think of damage mitigation here, based on experience. So we’re getting two Bloodweiser Babes to reduce the get-up roll after KO from 4+ to 2+, and then a Wandering Apothecary so we can re-roll two injuries.
I see that the cheating bastards are actually 1st of division 4, so they’re the ones standing in the way of our lead position. I will not accept a loss in this game.
Ugh, another match in the Norse-lands. Another match of not being able to read the dice-log properly, so I won’t be absolutely sure of what the hell’s going on. Wonderful. I did look into it, and couldn’t find an option to change the text colour. Vexing.
Another day of perfect Blood Bowl weather, and we are given the opportunity to guess the coin toss again, so I go for tails once more. It didn’t work this time either.
They have their two Trolls and the Fanatic on the front-line, so I move Auluff up there, and set up Pink Puttymaker behind him in case I need to do some blitzing. I flank our Minotaur with Silas Punchreys and Alexander Bloodthirst, the latter because of his Guard. I put Jar Entropy and Brutus Bashings on the edges of the front line, and let Jay-P Hurtington and Darken Cloud guard the sides so no Goblin gets to run through without rolling dice.
Sumanai Jones and L.V. Lovecrafter set up to the sides of Pink, and finally Physik Bowie kicks off.
The kick-off event this time is Perfect Defence, so I get to re-order my players if I want to. Which is good, as I noticed I placed Brutus one square too far to the right, so I rectify that before I let the ball land.
The first thing that happens is that Skwitash the Fanatic attacks Silas, but only manages to push him back. But then he spins over to Lovecrafter, and knocks him straight over, stunning the poor Hobgoblin. Perhaps he expected the powerhouse to come straight for him.
Skwinha the Pogoer hops straight up and gets the ball afterwards, before Dizzynoggin the chainsaw-wielding Looney moves down to the front line. And then both Trolls manage to roll 1s and space out due to Really Stupid. Fairly certain the Goblins hadn’t foreseen that. So they move their guys around to create a cage block our route to it before they hand the turn over to us.
Well. Auluff, you have your target. Three dice. Go!
A Defender Stumbles is more than good enough, since that Chainsaw is too unwieldy for him to have Dodge. And remember that he gets a +3 penalty to his armour roll if he’s knocked down?
First turn, first action, first casualty. Sadly there’s no long-term effect, but at least one potential hazard is gone. And then I remember to turn on the dice-log.
My next target is Skullfag the Bombardier. Jay-P is in perfect position for a Blitz, and can get two dice right off. But I want three. I move Brutus up to assist, which still isn’t enough, so I get Sumanai up there as well, and then I Blitz right in.
He’s KO’d! And as such out of the game because of his Secret Weapon. There’s just the Fanatic left, and… you know, it might be best to just stay away from him. His movement allowance is very small, and he can’t move reliably. Maybe if Lovecrafter just stays down, he’ll be okay.
Now that he has three assists, Alexander is able to get two dice against one of the trolls.
I don’t have Alexander follow up, because I have a feeling that Auluff might need the assist against the other Troll next turn. I do let Sumanai get pushed upwards closer to the ball. Everyone left just moves up to help tie up different Goblins and get away from the ball-and-chain wielding Fanatic. I’m sorry, Lovecrafter.
The Fanatic pushes Lovecrafter further out to the side, and I question whether he’s truly safe on the ground. The Troll I knocked down tries to get up, only to have his Really Stupid trigger again. The Goblins move about a bit, and then the other Troll attempts to Blitz. With his Break Tackle it should be alright, right?
Wrong. Troll goes down, and the Southstorm Squig Chasers suffer a Turnover.
So many Goblins to punch, where do we even start? Auluff is always eager.
Bloody Dodge. Auluff is tenacious though, and with his Frenzy he scores a Defender Down, KOing little Stinnag and letting him melt through the ground.
Okay, we’ll set another Goblin up for the fall. Brutus can move up next to Silas, allowing the punch-happy Chaos Dorf to get three dice vs Gnakka.
No long-term effect this time either, but the points are appreciated. Now I have to consider how I am going to reach mister Pogo up there. Sumanai has a free path, but he can only get two dice, and he has neither Block nor Tackle.
As I think, I have Darken knock over another Goblin. Then I move Sumanai up, have Jay-P free up Physik, and move him up as well. Okay, we’re ready. Puttymaker, this is your time to shine on the three dice!
Are you kidding me, Nuffle? By Thor’s beard… alright, this is what re-rolls are for. I kinda need that stick-goblin to fall. Gngh, no! A Defender stumbles will not do! Sigh… alright, push him right up to the two Hobgoblins, so at least it’ll be trickier for him to get away, even with Leap.
First thing I see once they gain control?
Apparently a Fanatic can still injure downed players. Not good. It is no long-term effect though… Lovecrafter will be back next game. And the Apothecary can fail anyhow. So I leave it. I’m really sorry, L.V., but you just have to take one for the team this time. At least you’re not dead. Yet.
One of the Trolls fails to get up because of Really Stupid again, but the other one Blitzes up, successfully rolls a go-for-it, and knocks Brutus on his back. Ouch. No armour break, luckily.
The Goblins still on their feet try to move up to support Skwinha, and Nobgit the level 3 manages to get there with a re-roll. Then Snagril tries to get away from Jay-P.
That’s a fractured leg and a turnover. Sadly no SPP for that, as it was because of a tackle, but still nice to have another enemy player off the field.
Auluff stuns Nobgit and moves up to help assist against Skwinha.
Brutus, Jay-P and Alexander surround the standing Troll so that Silas can get a nice two-dice and a Defender Down against it.
Now Pink can perform another three-dice against the stick-goblin, but he still can’t do better than push him. Okay, this requires Dorf intervention. Jar Blitz go!
Skwinha is knocked off of his pogo-stick and gets badly hurt from the fall, but the coach uses their Apothecary to heal him so he’s ready to join the next drive. He’s out for now though, and the ball is lying right next to Physik.
It’s a simple 2+ pick-up, and he runs towards the end zone. We’ll actually be able to score next turn! Sumanai moves up to help block anyone who might try to stop us, but I don’t think any of them are capable of getting up and moving that far.
One Troll and one Goblin get up, and then they just hand the turn over.
I have Auluff Blitz the final Goblin for a three-dice, but all he can do is push it around. Darken clocks the thing instead, knocking it down for a round.
I surround the Troll and have Brutus knock it down before I tell Physik to run it in.
We are up 1-nil, and we’ve not even started the fifth turn yet! Maybe we can manage more than two Touchdowns this time?
None of the KO’d Goblins get up, though the Bombardier is expelled because of his Secret Weapon, and so is the Fanatic. So now we just have the two Trolls, the Pogoer and the 7 remaining Goblins on their feet to worry about.
I use the same formation, minus Lovecrafter, and have Physik kick off again. This time the kick-off event is Brilliant Coaching, and we win an extra re-roll! Yay!
A regular Goblin picks up the ball this time, and the others start moving about. One of the Trolls stun Silas, and then both Trolls team up against Auluff.
Ack! Not good. Not good at all. No long-term effect, okay, but I really don’t want to be without my Minotaur against two Trolls. Apothecary, work your magic!
Why do you hate me, Nuffle? Okay, might as well pick the top one, as it makes no difference. And then Auluff just jumps up and runs off of the field of his own power. I don’t even… the Apothecary worked? But… I am so confused. I largely play Nurgle, who are undead, so… it doesn’t actually say whether the Apothecary worked or not? Or did it use the both of them?
Well, I guess I have a functional Minotaur again. The Goblins start moving up, and they put up a wall in front of Jar before one of them suddenly Blitzes him.
It’s sadly not an injury, but a KO helps too. And Turnovers in my favour are definitely nice.
Well, the first thing I do is have Brutus conk mister Pogo. No injury this time, sadly. Jay-P moves up to block off one of the free Goblins. Darken moves up to assist Jar with his Goblin wall, and Jar takes the opportunity to tell one of them to lie down.
Now, the enemy ball carrier seems largely out of reach, except from Pink’s Sure Feet. I have Alexander push the Trolls away (yes, both of them) to make a clearer path, and then the Puttymaker Blitzes his way up there.
Not an ideal result, and I don’t feel like burning a re-roll here. The most important thing is getting the ball out of the Goblin’s hands. Unfortunately Pink is the one who gets stunned, while Skweegus just gets knocked down. That’s a Turnover, but I’d done all I could anyway.
Skweegus picks up the ball again, but can’t move very far with it since he was knocked down. One of the Trolls tries a Blitz, but his Really Stupid kicks in, and the Blitz is wasted. Instead the other Troll uses Break Tackle to move up to Jar, and one of the Goblins knocks him over.
The rest of them shuffle around a bit, and they manage to knock over Jay-P as well before they hand the turn over to me.
Brutus knocks down the stick-goblin again, and I have Physik move up to tie up Skweegus before I send Alexander in to Blitz the Goblin. A solid Defender Down, and the ball is yet again liberated. I can’t actually reach it though, so I have to end my turn like this.
Another Goblin, Weesnik, picks up the ball and runs down the side. I don’t think he can get far enough before half-time, but I’d rather he not kept the ball anyway.
Then one of the Trolls breaks away from Silas and tries to run past Brutus as well, maybe forgetting that Break Tackle only works once per turn.
Okay, what can we do here? Quite a lot, it seems. I want to Blitz the ball carrier, but first let’s do some damage. Alexander, smack down mister Pogo!
That’s another casualty caused, and I have a feeling Alexander is feeling pretty happy. Probably collected some of that blood for later.
Pink can now get up, and Brutus moves down to tie up Weesnik. I’ve got a Blitz with his name on it for later. But first Jay-P needs to free up Sumanai.
Nitfag goes down with a Pinched Nerve, and will be missing the next game. Jay-P is not playing around. Okay Sumanai, do your thing! A Pushed and a Stumbles? Ugh… okay, I still have re-rolls.
That’s even less helpful. Okay, just push him to the edge. If he doesn’t manage to get away, maybe we can push him out of bounds next turn.
More Goblins are knocked down, but without any spectacular results, so our turn ends there.
The Goblins get back up, Sumanai is Blitzed so hard that he’s stunned, and then Weesnik actually doesn’t move. Others on his team move around a bit, trying to tie us up, but then they hand the turn over.
Well, it’s clear that Weesnik needs to be Blitzed out of bounds, and Brutus will get the honour. That other Goblin is in the way of getting a proper two-dice though. I have Physik knock out Skweegus, which frees up Pink, who runs down and keeps the other Goblin busy, so Brutus gets his two-dice Blitz.
Nothing broken, unfortunately, and the ball is thrown back in near their end zone. But since this is the last turn before half-time, it won’t really do us much good. We punch out the final Goblin and one of the Trolls, and then say that’s enough for now.
– – – HALF-TIME! – – –
Our volunteer cheering squad seem very merry, possibly due to their proximity to that keg. Alexander was seen over by the Goblin coach, possibly negotiating for one of their Squigs. Hopefully he didn’t do anything stupid.
The Southstorm Squig Chasers injury box looks like an absolute mess, and they still have two KO’s that aren’t getting up.
With us now being on the receiving end, I move both remaining Hobgoblins back to try to cover everywhere the ball might land, but otherwise leave everyone in the same positions.
The ball flies, and the kick-off event is Changing Weather, but it actually stays the same, so the title was a lie in this case.
The ball lands and bounces right next to Pink. This is where I get a bit of a tactical thought. Sumanai has 3 SPP from his TD last match, and if he got another he’d be able to level up, and give me two level 2 Hobgoblins. I move Physik up to maybe catch the ball if Jones fumbles it, but before I try to pick it up I’m gonna punch some greenskins.
Auluff gets some revenge by headbutting the Troll Fignitt to the ground, and Brutus throws a Both Down against Snotkit.
That’s another Badly Hurt Goblin, and a proud Chaos Dorf coach. This is all going much better than I had feared.
I move the Dorfs around a bit to tie up more Goblins, and then I figure that Pink probably doesn’t fear Trolls, and have him Blitz right into Trat’k.
The Troll goes down next to his friend, and all that’s left to do is to have Sumanai try to pick up the ball. The magnificent bastard rolls a 6 and picks it up as if it was the easiest thing in the world, before he runs into a mostly finished cage right above where the ball was.
Once the Goblins get their turn, the two Trolls get back up, Nobgit moves down to assist his buddy Tugnacks against Darken. Who unfortunately for him rolls Attacker Down.
Jay-P KO’s Skweegus right away, and Darken knocks over Nobgit. The sides are free. Then I have Auluff attack Fignitt again, which almost turns into a disaster. I forgot to factor in his Frenzy, so when he only got a Pushed on the first result, he followed up and ended up with two red dice.
I don’t re-roll, for two very good reasons. First off, a re-roll could gain me Attacker Down or Both Down, both of which could end very badly. Secondly, Loner might kick in and refuse the re-roll anyway. I can live with the AI picking Pushed.
Puttymaker attacks the other Troll with some Dorfen aid, and has more success. So at least one Troll is down for a round.
Then I have Alexander Blitz straight into the Goblin up there, which results in Pushed and Attacker Down. I’m annoyed enough to burn a re-roll now, and we get a Defender Stumbles, which is enough to stun the Goblin.
Before I end my turn I have Sumanai run up towards the end zone, with Jar and Physik following to form a half-cage.
Everyone who can get up on the Goblin team do so, and then the standing Troll spaces out.
I move the free players around a bit and try to attack the Troll again with Pink, but it only results in two Pushed. Ah well.
Darken has more luck as he rolls a Both Down against Nobgit and sends the Goblin into the KO box.
Jar makes sure Trat’k won’t be trying anything once its their turn, and Auluff does the same for Fignitt.
Finally I just run Sumanai and Physik up closer to the end zone, and hand the turn over to the Goblins.
Both Trolls get affected by Really Stupid, so Tugnacks tries to dodge away from Darken and Silas.
All I can really do is have Jay-P knocks Weesnik on his arse before I tell Sumanai to go for it.
So that’s 2-nil for us, and there might even be enough turns left for a third touchdown. We also get a look at the SSC injury box.
They do have three of their KO’d players get back up, but I have a feeling it won’t help much. I put our players back in standard kicking formation, and let the ball fly. Apparently one of the SSC fans has had enough, and hurls a rock straight at Jar’s head, stunning the poor Dorf.
The Goblins have clearly entered desperation mode. Skweegus runs over and picks up the ball, and then tries to have Trat’k throw him down the field. The Troll fumbles the throw, so the other Troll knocks Silas on his arse in frustration.
They can’t do much more than that, so they end the turn.
I manage to make the same mistake with Auluff again. This time the dice weren’t so favourable.
The Troll picks Both Down, and they both end up Stunned. That’s a Turnover for us, I’m afraid.
And immediately Trat’k tries to break away from Silas, who trips him up and causes another Turnover. Huh… possibly our shortest turn yet?
Right. Jar Blitzes right up and smacks down Tugnacks. I was hoping for an injury, as Jar only needs two more points, but it was still fun.
Alexander knocks down Ardnak, and then Brutus KO’s Weesnik. Then I just move everyone up so the Goblins will have a hell of a time moving anywhere.
What can they do? Well, Fignitt manages to get back up, and Stinnag knocks Sumanai over, but after some thought they just end the turn.
Jar knocks down Tugnacks again, before I have Physik move up behind Skweegus. Silas takes the swing, Skweegus is KO’d, and the ball bounces right into Physik’s hands, who catches it masterfully. Sadly there’s no way anyone can reach the end zone in the next turn. I’ll have to settle for beating up more Goblins.
So Jay-P swings at the only standing Goblin: Stinnag.
Another cinematic mode moment for another injury. Jay-P has had a smashing debut. After some deliberation I see all I can really do is have Alexander Blitz Fignitt, which works pretty well, and then just hand the turn over.
The Goblins and Trolls get up, but can’t do anything, so they just end the turn.
I check, double-check and triple-check to make sure I really can’t get to the end zone with anyone. Then I just knock both Trolls and both Goblins over, and have Physik run up towards the end zone anyway. Might as well get the drums started.
The remaining SSC players just get up and then it’s…
– – – END OF MATCH! – – –
That really did turn out a lot better than I had feared. And we caused a total of 7 casualties, which is 12 SPP divided among all the injuring players, since one was because of a tackle.
This time it was Physik Bowie himself who got elected MVP. With one TD in addition he gets +8 SPP, giving him 14 SPP total.
Alexander Bloodthirst caused one casualty for +2 SPP, giving him 9 SPP total.
Silas Punchreys caused one casualty for +2 SPP, giving him 7 SPP total and a level-up.
Sumanai Jones scored one TD for +3 SPP, giving him 6 SPP total and a level-up.
Auluff caused one casualty for +2 SPP, giving him 4 SPP total.
Jar Entropy caused one casualty for +2 SPP, giving him 4 SPP total.
Brutus Bashings caused one casualty for +2 SPP, giving him 2 SPP total.
Jay-P Hurtington caused two casualties for +4 SPP, giving him 4 SPP total.
The rest are unchanged.
We earned 50 000 GP, which I am going to save up for another Bull Centaur.
Our fan factor is now 3, up from 2.
Silas rolled a 3 and a 6, and could only pick from the normal skills. I gave him Guard, like Alexander.
Sumanai rolled double 3 and could pick from all skill categories, so although it was tempting to give him Block anyway, I recognised this could be a unique shot, and gave him Dodge instead. Perhaps Sure Hands would have been better, but I’d rather have my guys hard to injure than good with the ball.
Skills of the Day
Guard allows a player to assist a team-mate regardless of how many tackle zones the one with Guard is in. This overrides the enemy’s ability to negate your assistance by placing your players in several tackle zones. The skill helps with both offensive and defensive assists. It’s very useful to have on players who are often in the thick of things, as being able to always assist eachother results in more block dice thrown and better odds of a favourable result.
One of the few skills able to modify armour rolls. Mighty Blow gives +1 to the armour roll of any enemy the player knocks down. If the armour breaks, then +1 is also added to the subsequent injury roll. This does not work in conjunction with Stab or Chainsaw. A nice skill for for those who do a lot of punching.
We have now reached the position of 1st of division 4. The next match will be against a Norse team: Ragnarite Pythons. Norse teams are odd, and can be tricky since all their guys have Block as a starting skill. Since none of our Hobgoblins or big guys have that yet, we should be careful.
As always, any suggestions for Topics or Skills of the day are welcome, as well as any questions you might have outside of that.