Wulf Space Jam – Match 5: Vs Arnheim Seahawks (High Elf)

Match 4

Interlude 1

Match 6

Here we are! Final match of Division 4. Looking at the rankings now, we have won. We’ll be moving on. Even if our opponents win, we will have more points than them. No one can reach us. So winning or losing is not the most important thing about our next match, we have a much more important objective.

Break! Break! Break!

Break as many elves as we can. We are now facing the Arnheim Seahawks, who are a High Elf team, and they are the richest, snottiest, ponciest elves you could ever find. While I by no means intend to make it easy for them to score a touchdown, I do have to face the fact that in the past there are two teams I’ve actually lost against, and not just had a draw. One was a Dark Elf team, and the other a High Elf team.

The downside here is that these buggers are indeed very rich, so they can afford the best equipment. They are not as bashy as the Dark Elves, but they are tougher than most elf teams. The one downside to their good gear is that none of them start with Dodge, or many other skills either.

Let’s have a look at what their team composition is.

Arnheim Seahawks

Oy vey, it’s gonna be one of those games. Also, three linemen with Agility 5? Are you shitting me? I’m fairly certain that means that with the +1 they get for dodging out of a tackle-zone, they can go anywhere unhindered. Okay, they’ll still need 2+ to jump into a tackle-zone, but apart from that…

Also, everyone has Strength 3, and apart from the Catchers, everyone has Armour Value 8 too. They won’t be as easy to injure as the Goblins or the Norse, but on the upside there’s a lot less Block here, and not much Dodge either. But honestly I don’t really expect to win, not considering the amazing Elf Bullshit™ the game tends to pull off. If they score a one-turn Touchdown I will not be surprised, but I will be infuriated.


Their two Blitzers are the only ones with Block, and they’re both at level 2. As we see, this fellow has been given Strip Ball, and should be kept away from our ball carrier at all times. While I would love for Lovecrafter to be able to score a Touchdown or two, it might be safer to give the ball to Physik or Bran. Still, we could try. The other Blitzer has been given Tackle, which isn’t such a big issue for us, since only Sumanai has Dodge anyway.

Poncy git...

I’m amazed those shoulder-pads let them move them arms freely, let alone catch a ball. Now this guy has been given Pass Block, which actually would be nice for Physik to have, since he has +1 Agility, and could possibly intercept. We don’t throw the ball though, so them having it is irrelevant to us. But yes, the high Movement Allowance, Catch and the fact that all three leveled-up Catchers have Dodge likely means that these guys will be going for the Touchdowns. They must die. Or at least be crippled.

Snotty bugger...

Another Leader, another prime target. With the combination of Pass to let them re-roll if the throw is fumbled, and Safe Throw to let them possibly cancel out interceptions I’m sure these guys will try to stay out of range and wait for one of the Catchers to get into a good position and throw the ball right over our heads. This one has been given Sure Hands to make it essentially safe to pick up the ball at any time, and the other one has Strong Arm for +1 to Pass rolls. Maybe I should have the Puttymaker chase after these guys…

Limber bastard...

So all three of their starting Linemen have +1 Agility? Yeah, that’s not iffy at all. Hopefully they’ll actually be on the line, so I can have them smacked down, and hopefully injured, in rapid succession. They have no skills though, so they can’t really mount much of a defence, but they can just stay away from us. We do only get one Blitz per turn, after all.

So what is the strategy here? The Dorfs and Auluff will stay on the line. Hopefully I can keep our good Minotaur in range of someone to punch, or perhaps let him Blitz. I am not entirely sure whether it would be best to have Pink stay in the back field to help kill off intruders, or have him chase into the enemy half to murder the Throwers. The Hobs will stay in the back attacking intruders, unless we get the ball.

I have a feeling that having so many players with Guard will really pay off in the murder department this match. And with Block against no Block on most of the enemy players, our Chaos Dorf Blockers will have a better than 50% chance in most cases to knock the Elves down, so long as we roll two-dice.

Topic of the Day: Formations

To be perfectly honest, I am not the best when it comes to why and how the different formations in the game work. I set up my own starting formation that has served me well in different situations with only minor tweaks. I do know the basic rules for what is and isn’t a legal formation though, and I will look at the different pre-mades and attempt to analyse them.

First off, the rules. If you look at a Blood Bowl field, you will see it is divided into six rectangles, three in each half. The central rectangle on each side is the largest, while the side ones are narrower. The area where the two halves meet is referred to as ‘the line’.

To have a legal formation, as the game dubs it, you must have at least three players on the line in the central rectangle, and you can’t have more than two players in each side rectangle. The game will forbid you to put more than two in the sides, even if it’s just for the purpose of rearranging. It will however not stop you from taking everyone off the line, but as soon as you hit the Done button it will just grab at least three of your players and put them up there. Usually people you don’t want there.

Minor note: I did not swap any of the players around for this, I just checked what sort of positions the pre-made formations gave me. So I hope you won’t be too confused by who is where, and rather imagine they’re in proper spots. If this is too confusing, I will re-do the screenshots upon request.

Attract Centre

Attract Centre: This looks like a good kicking formation. Your central line is fairly strong boxed together like that, and the sides are hazardous. You leave the centre fairly open though, and hopefully funnel ambitious enemy players around the line and in there so you can close in around them.

Strong Line

Strong Line: As the title states, this is a strong line. If anyone wants to break through, they’ll either have to force their way through the middle, where you have hopefully placed your strongest player, or go around the sides and risk getting intercepted by everyone in the back field. This seems like a general purpose formation to me, as players can still reach most of the back field to pick up the ball if receiving.

Weak Side

Weak Side: This is actually not far from my favoured formation. The line is very strong and it’s hard to break through the middle, but as the title states, the sides are weak. Partially because you’d normally have your strongest players on the line, and leave the sides to the weaker ones. If the enemy players manage to break through a side, there’s not a whole lot back there to intercept them. Primarily a kicking formation, I’d say.

The Wall

The Wall: Pretty self-explanatory, I’d say. This is not a particularly flexible formation. I’ve usually seen it used when there’s just one or possibly two turns left of a half, and the player just wants to do as much damage to the enemy as possible when it’s unlikely either of them could really score.

Deep Side Weak

Deep Side Weak: Here you also have a strong middle, which invites the enemy to go around the sides. With everyone so far ahead it could be tough to do interception, especially if the enemy manages to tie everyone up, but they might just as easily get trapped as well. If the enemy has high Movement Allowance, I wouldn’t risk this formation though.

More Fight

More Fight: I’m not really seeing this title. Okay, it’s easy to tie up an enemy team and bash them, I guess. But not sure why this formation makes that better than Weak Side. Anyway, this seems like another kicking formation, though it can be easily modified for receiving.

Defensive Tackle

Defensive Tackle: This seems to have a similar function to Attract Centre. Funnel the enemy around the sides and towards the middle, where they will be pounced upon. And you really only need to move the two back players a little further in towards the centre to make it a good receiving formation.


Zulu: I feel like this is a reference I’m not getting. Well, this seems like a very front-loaded formation. Basically trying to make sure that there’s no easy way to get into your half of the field. Though if the line is broken, you’re very exposed. Alternately it can be a good starting position to push into the enemy half.

No Safety

No Safety: I get why it has this title. Enemy players can get into your half without crossing any tackle-zones, but you do have a much bashier line, and good back-field coverage. I would guess this is best suited for receiving, so you can just pick a side and run for it, based on where the ball lands.

Wulf Charge

Wulf Charge: And here we finally are. My favoured formation, that I just made up a name for, because I felt I had to. Let me attempt to take you through my reasoning for this.

I like to play the bashy teams, and it is for that purpose this formation was devised. I put the big guy, in this case our Minotaur, in the centre of the line. I flank him/her with two of the main hitters, in this case Chaos Dwarf Blockers. Then I put an open square before placing another two main hitters to the side on the line. This allows me to usually be able to two-dice the entire front line of the enemy team in the first turn. Like if I didn’t have Guard, and they had a big guy in the centre as well, I’d first knock away at least one of the side guys to give myself an assist so I could two-dice their big guy with my big guy.

I’ve put the sides very close to the line, which is a bit of a weakness, but I prefer being able to bring those guys into the action wherever necessary as soon as possible. The reason the Blockers are one square ahead of the Hobgoblins instead of vice versa is because of their lower Movement Allowance. The idea is still that the enemy won’t be able to break into my half without crossing tackle-zones or throwing block dice.

And then finally we have the back field of the centre rectangle. This is what changes the most depending on what team I’m playing. On Nurgle I’d have two Pestigors back there, usually on the same line. Here I have one Hobgoblin back in kicker or receiver position, depending on what role I’m in, and then our Bull Centaur as a Blitzer further up. Since I actually got to pick Receiver for that match, I would have usually put the side Hobgoblins a little further back to better cover anywhere the ball might land, but that was just a practice match, and I set up the formation for demonstration purposes.

Hint of the Day

Did you know: Blood Bowl is essentially a game about risk management? The idea is that you get your opponent to take as many risks as possible, while you stay as safe as you can. Give them more tackle-zones to dodge through; force them into doing go-for-it rolls to stop you; make their Really Stupid players stand alone; leave them desperate enough to throw one-die blocks or even red dice against you. Basically your aim is to give them more options to fail, while trying to avoid as many as possible for yourself.

Manually path your way around enemy tackle-zones if you have to. A go-for-it is less risky than a tackle-zone dodge (unless your agility stat is insanely high). Don’t throw anything below a two-dice block unless you absolutely have to. Don’t leave a player standing alone on the side-line, because they’re just begging to be Blitzed out into the crowd. Know your skills, and how to best use/exploit them. Cage in your ball-carrier. I’m sure there’s more, but above all, make sure you think things through.

– – – MATCH BEGINS! – – –

The bloody elves have accrued a team value of 1660, while we are still at just 1350. That does give us 310 000 to spend on inducements, which should even the field a little. While it is tempting to get a Wizard, I will settle for one Wandering Apothecary and two extra re-rolls. As I stated earlier, our goal is less about winning, and more about hurting as many elves as we can.

More re-rolls = more murder.

[So a hiccup happened and things went screwy after I played the match, so I had to do something I’d told myself I wouldn’t do. Load a save and replay the match. It was either that, or end the LP before its time, so I didn’t have much choice. Considering the result after my first attempt, maybe it was just as well, but I wasn’t able to score as many injuries on the retry.]

It’s a nice day of perfect Blood Bowl weather, and we are back in the Norselands once again. I really hope to not see this field again once we get up to Division 3. They win the coin toss, and we are set in kicker position. Alright, maybe we’ll be able to grab the ball from them and score anyway. Actually stopping high-agility players tends to be an exercise in frustration and futility, but maybe we’ll get lucky and Nuffle hates them. I did up my sacrifice for this match, as we had some leftover Squig.

I set up a standard formation. They won’t get into our half without going through tackle-zones, or knocking someone down, but considering their high agility, I doubt the tackle-zones will slow them much. Physik takes the kick.

Ruddy elves...

The ball flies, and the kick-off event this time is Changing Weather. Not a biggie, it usually just stays… oh dear.

How they manage that in the icy north...

This is not good. This is the worst weather. No one will be out for this drive, since we’ve just started, but next drive people will start dropping. Let’s hope the dice are in our favour.

Turn 1

The ball lands close to Rildion Elerdel the Thrower (not to be confused with Rildion Kiendian the Catcher) and bounces to one of his adjacent squares. Fantastic.

Rinthellerion Werelenial the Lineman runs up to the ball in case of a bounce, but Rildion-T picks it up on his first attempt and runs down towards his team-mates.

Lanlaithion Beragaeil and Rission Norosumé the Catchers both effortlessly jog through our tackle-zones and into our half, but when Mátanefindir Augdirdar, a third catcher, tries the same trick, a certain Bran Aldowyn will have none of it.

Snake eyes!

While I certainly won’t complain about a Turnover in our favour, they do still have two extremely dodgy players in our half. Now let’s see what we can do about it.

First let’s do some linework. Auluff can get a three-dice against Horthborn Talaneth the Agi 5 Lineman thanks to Silas and Alexander both having Guard, so I take that happily.

The third die taunts me.

Defender Down, Armour Break and KO! Not a bad start, not at all. And I just notice that one of the Linemen is also named Rission Norosumé. Is there a lot of inbreeding among the High Elves? Alright, so not only do we have Rildion-T and Rildion-C, but Rission-C and Rission-L. Amazing.

I have Brutus try punch Rission-L’s clock, but he only manages to push him over to Alexander and Auluff. I do not follow up, because I’d like to maintain the tackle-zone where it is.

Jar has more luck with Alyan Landeredal, and headbutts him with a Both Down to Stun the poncy Lineman. And Alexander makes Rission-L fall over with a Defender Stumbles.

I move Silas up to try to be in the way, and then see what I can do about the back-field. I move Bran down to Rission-C, and I feel that this is a great opportunity to let Pink do what he’s made for: Blitz.

Oh joy...

Ugh, such a meh roll… well, we’re here to hurt elves, so why not put the re-rolls to that use? Double Pushed now? Not really helping… well, maybe I can have the illusion of actually having tied down this elf for the next turn.

Physik and Jay-P surround Lanlai (what I wouldn’t give for another Blitz), and Lovecrafter moves up to plug the hole on right side, even if the buggers would likely just dodge through anyway. And that’s really all I can do, unfortunately… end turn.

Turn 2

Augdirdar gets up and gets away, then Rildion-T runs down to our left flank and throws a pass to Rission-C.


Only Jar and Pink are in the path to intercept, and since both are Agility 2 I try to have Pink do it, since he’s taller, but Rission-C catches the ball perfectly. The bloody elf then dodges away from Pink and Bran, and runs over to Lanlai. The ball is handed over, and Lanlai effortlessly dodges away from Jay-P and Physik.

... touchdown ...

And that’s the first touchdown scored against our dear Wulf Space Jam. Based on previous experience, it seems the Arnheim Seahawks, and other High Elf teams, can reliably score a touchdown in two turns. Our strategy is clear. Don’t give them two turns with the ball. Perhaps it’s just as well we started as kickers, since that means we’ll get the ball now, and in the second half. I’ll keep that in mind for future elf matches.

Four cheerleaders?

It seems that the elves have also attracted a volunteer cheering squad, who seem to have a very good view of the actual cheerleaders. Either they’re quadruplets, or I’m just at the stage where all elves look alike. Or maybe they have a perfect cheerleader they keep cloning.

Horthborn doesn’t get up, and the Sweltering Heat claims Augdirdar as well. They have enough reserves to make up for it, though. On our side it’s poor Bran who’s carried off the field with a heat stroke, so Sumanai is back on for the remainder of the first half.

I keep the Dorfs, Auluff and Pink in their positions, while Lovecrafter is moved into receiving position, and Physik and Sumanai take up support positions.

The ball flies! And the kick-off event is… oh… Pitch Invasion. And we lost the Fame roll.


The elves do get three of their players stunned, but we have six down. With the five left we’re just able to make a cage, and hopefully defend the ball until we can get everyone else up.

Okay, pick up the ball, Lovecrafter! Wow. A 6. Excellent. We have the ball, easy as pie. I’ve never quite understood that expression, but it sounds well to the ear.

I form up a cage with whoever is left and have Silas one-die Alyan to the ground with a Defender Stumbles. End turn.

A tough nut to crack.

Turn 3

Alyan gets back up, and the elves start surrounding us. Mostly Pink, really, and then finally Belsathion Wertaniel the Blitzer comes and Blitzes our daunting Puttymaker. He only manages a push, which does put him next to Lovecrafter, but also means he’s in prime position for getting punched in the face when it’s our turn.

A couple of elves move up to basically be in the way, and they hand the turn over.

My first task is getting everyone up. Things are going fine until Auluff decides he’s too pissed off at the crowd to get up, even though I promise to let him Blitz a squishy elf. I do attempt a re-roll, but his Loner refuses to accept it. Ah well. Blitz and re-roll burned, but it was worth a shot.

Now that everyone who wanted to is up, it’s time to see who we can punch. Pink kicks Alyan to the ground, Brutus Both Downs Garnon Dlarraithor the Lineman, and with the help of Silas’s Guard, Lovecrafter is able to smack down the uppity Belsathion.

That’s really it for my options, so end turn.

Squares gained: none.

Turn 4

Sorry about the low number of screenshots, but there’s not much interesting to show off yet.

The ruddy elves jump back to their feet, and I can hear the gears grind in their pretty little heads as they try to figure out what needs to happen for them to get to the ball, and more importantly, get it away from Lovecrafter.

So they line up besides Jar before Erugoldur Elenethir the Lineman tries to Blitz him. He only manages a push, and puts himself in perfect punching range. Then they try to gang up on Physik, with more success, as he’s knocked down.

They move around a little, and hand the turn over.

Marginal differences.

I try to lure Auluff up with the promise of a Blitz again, and this time he accepts. With Horns and Alexander’s Guard, that’s a three-dice against Rildion-T, and the elf goes down to a solid Defender Down.

Pink also scores a Defender Down against Alyan, so that’s two less elves on their feet, which I certainly shan’t complain about. Then it’s Jar’s turn to roll against his attempted attacker.

The wonders of Block.

It might look like a bad roll, but thankfully Jar has Block and the elf doesn’t. So down he goes. Lovecrafter is now free to move, at least a little. So I move him up a square, rearrange several other players, and finally let Brutus throw double-dice against Rission-L in order to complete the cage.

I strengthen the cage as much as I can and then end the turn.

Flesh-and-bone reinforced structure.

Turn 5

The elf-buggers manage to push back both Silas and Brutus, but Nuffle is not being overly kind on their two-dice rolls. Still, Lovecrafter suddenly has a whole lot of elf next to him.

Lanlai has the cheek to roll a single die against Physik, and get a Defender Down from it. As the elf does not have Block, and Physik does, it’s clear the sod must have bribed Nuffle or the ref somehow. Possibly both.

It doesn’t seem like they have more to do, so the turn is handed our to us again.

I'm gonna shave off their hair while they sleep tonight.

Okay, time to knock down more elves. Jar starts with Garnon, and takes his place to help buffer Lovecrafter a bit. Auluff is out for blood, and charges at Rildion-T again. The first result is two Pushed, but the Frenzy follow-up produces a Defender Stumbles.

What's that ringing?

And we have one less elf to worry about for a while! Excellent. Looking at the dice-log, it was the Mighty Blow that just managed to make it a KO and not a Stun.

I move Alexander up into the gap between Lovecrafter and Brutus to let his Guard assist against the final elves up there, and Silas takes a swing at Rildion-C. A Defender Down tells the elf to lie down, and then Brutus can take on Horthien.


I am disappointed in the lack of injuries caused so far, but Lovecrafter is free again. I move him up another square, feeling fairly certain I can reach the end-zone on turn 8.

Pink kicks over Belsathion with a well-placed Defender Down, and then I notice I still have a Blitz left. And Physik is still down. It will be a one-die against Lanlai, but again, it’s Block vs No Block, so the risk of failure is significantly reduced. I only manage a Pushed, but that does mean Physik can move up and let Jay-P have a one-die against Alyan. Which is another push.

Fine, fine. End turn.

Slowly, but surely.

Turn 6

Brutus is pushed back, Jar is knocked down and Jay-P is pushed back. Some of the other elves move around a bit, and then they hand the turn over. How exciting!

Status update: pretty much the same as before.

Right then. Go Auluff!

Parker, nooo!

That’s a three-dice, followed by a Frenzy two-dice, which managed to give us one Defender Stumbles, that resulted in another Mighty Blow KO. Good job Auluff! Less elves on the field is very good indeed.

Alexander knocks over Rinthellerion, and Silas attempts to do the same to Horthien. He does get a Both Down, but unfortunately this is one of the two elves that actually have Block.

Jay-P pushes Alyan back again, and Sumanai pushes Belsathion away. As I now have a clear route upwards, I have Lovecrafter run for it, and Brutus and Darken follow to form a half-cage behind him.

As a final act this turn I send Pink up and around to Blitz Horthien with three dice! Which produces Both Down, Pushed and Attacker Down… yay… okay, I still have re-rolls. Whoosh! That’s a Defender Down, and Horthien is forced to rest a bit. End turn.

Elf clusters are the worst.

Turn 7

The elves start moving up, dodging out of tackle-zones with ease. They position themselves to the sides of the half-cage, but don’t actually move into the tackle-zones of anyone, even though I’m fairly sure they could reach Lovecrafter if they wanted to. Then Garnon tries to get away from Silas.


Not only is that a Turnover, but it’s the first injury caused this match! Just a shame it was a tackle, and Silas won’t get any points for it, even though he was clearly the one who caused it.

I could score right away, but I won’t. That would give the bloody elves two turns with the ball, and they’d likely get another Touchdown. No, I have to hold out until the next turn.

Alright, Auluff Frenzies down Rinthellerion, and then I send Sumanai and Physik up to let Lovecrafter move up one more square, so that he can score next turn without any go-for-its. And then Jay-P follows to get next to Alyan, though the Dorf does have to do a go-for-it.


Which burns my last re-roll for this half, but at least he makes it. I send Jar up as well, and then tell Alexander to also move up. Completely forgetting that he’s in a tackle-zone. For a Chaos Dwarf Blocker that’s a 5+ roll. So he rolls 5 and casually strolls up there like a boss. Huh.


With that somehow pulled off, I do what I should have done first. Have Silas knock Horthien on his arse. He rolls a critical success on the armour roll, and Stuns the damned elf. Serves him right, though it really should have been an injury. Possibly he was also Stunned by Alexander just walking away so casually.

I trigger Blitz on Pink and have him throw a two-dice against Erugoldur, but the best he gets is a Pushed. I really wish I could get some points on you, Pink, so I could get you Block. Still, pushing the elf away and not following does mean I can run up towards the cage. With a simple go-for-it he manages to get right in Rildion-C’s face. End turn.

We will, we will, stomp you!

Turn 8

The elves get up and start their dodging. Rildion-C Blitzes Brutus and knocks him over, and then Lanlai has the curious idea that he’s going to jump *into* the cage.


Physik and Sumanai both trip him up, so the bugger rolls two 1s and faceplants so hard he’s Stunned. Look, even with Agility 4; heck, even if he had 5; trying to jump into a cage is just tempting fate. Nuffle loves to screw over anyone who’s that bold.

Right! All we need to do is push Rildion-C out of the way, and Lovecrafter can run it in. First though, I’m going to take a slight risk and do some punching.

Auluff knocks down Rinthellerion, and Silas runs up so Alexander can two-dice and knock down Erugoldur. Pink Blitzes Rildion-C and pushes him out of the way, and I move Darken up so Lovecrafter has a clear route. Only one thing left now.


There we go! The game is now a tie. And we’re getting the ball next half. I plan to take eight turns to score. This also ends the turn, which means we are now at…

Unf unf unf

– – – HALF-TIME! – – –

The elven cheerleaders do their best to keep the team spirit up, and everyone who was knocked out get up again.

Our volunteer cheering squad have once again set up a keg, which is probably a good idea considering today’s heat. In fact, most of the team head over there before the second half.

The Sweltering Heat (possibly in combination with excessive mead) hits us extra hard this time and four players are out. Jar, Darken, Physik and Sumanai. So we only have 8 players, while they still have 11, since the heat only knocked out two, they have one injury, and three reserves. Yeah…

I am in a slight panic, so I don’t pay any particular attention to who goes where when I set up the formation this time.

Brutus is the only Dorf in his proper place.

The ball flies, and the kick-off event is…

Sooo high!

Oh, thank Nuffle. Right, Lovecrafter, you will now have the spiked ball heading straight for your head. You’d better think fast.

Turn 9

And he catches it. Perfectly. I am astounded. For a moment I nearly forget what I’m supposed to do, but it quickly passes, and I run him up just behind the line to form a cage around him.

Auluff knocks over Horthborn again, since the elf really should have known better and just stayed down for the remainder of the game.

Brutus clocks Rission-L with a solid Both Down, Alexander shoves Alyan to the ground, and Pink gets the go-ahead to Blitz Augdirdar.


Well… I had hoped for a Defender Down, but ah well. A tad early to start burning re-rolls yet. And if Augdirdar doesn’t dodge away, Pink can push him out of bounds in two turns. Fat chance of that though, considering how dodgy elves are.

Silas plugs up the cage and I hand the turn over.

So many things could go wrong.

The sodding elves get up and start surrounding the cage, even doing (annoyingly successful) go-for-its to get into position.

Horthien Blitzes Silas, but only manages to push the Dorf back a square. Then they gang up on Pink, and manage to knock the Bull Centaur over. Evil little elves.

After boxing us in some more they end the turn.

Too many damn elves.

Turn 10

I have Pink get up and then attempt to analyse the situation. I should have probably had Auluff assist Alexander first, but I know how eager the Minotaur is, so I let him charge straight at Horthborn.

And there he crumples.

First injury of the match to award anyone SPP, and I am feeling happy. One less elf on the field. While there’s no long-term effect, it was a solid headbutt. And then they heal him with the Apothecary. Bleh. Ah well, I have no intention of scoring until turn 16 anyway, so we won’t see him until the very end.

Next up is Brutus taking a swing at Rission-L. It’s a KO!

I'll kill that gong.

Now their advantage is a mere 9 vs 8 players. This is looking better.

After some deliberation, I figure I’ll have Bran Blitz straight into Horthien. Which produces a Pushed and a Both Down. And they both have Block… so yeah, I’m pushing the elf away. The idea is to free up Lovecrafter, after all.

So now I can move L.V. over to a new partial cage, which sadly has a structural flaw. Silas knocks over Rildion-C, and I debate where to best put Jay-P before I hand the turn over.

That'll do...

Of course the first thing they do is set up and execute a Blitz, which results in a double Pushed result.

They surround us even more, knock over Brutus, push Pink around and knock Alexander down, possibly as some sort of revenge. And then they end the turn.

Still too many elves.

Turn 11

I have Brutus get up, and then Pink charges into Rission-C. He manages to knock him down, but no injury. I didn’t think it’d be this hard to get points on a Bull Centaur.

Okay, time for Jay-P to hand out some pain.

Can you hear Nuffle laughing?

Oh for… right, re-roll. That’s better! Defender Stumbles. Lovecrafter pushes Rildion-C away, and I look at who’s left. Auluff is standing there all alone, and I can’t really rely on him to walk anywhere. So I Blitz! Except his Wild Animal still triggers. Blast it. I don’t bother to use a re-roll. Let him stew in his own anger.

I move Bran up a square, and hand the turn over.

Such a weak cage...

They start surrounding Lovecrafter immediately, effortlessly jumping into tackle-zones, and after Horthien pushes Alexander away, Rinthellerion Blitzes Silas.

I can fly!

That’s quite a lot of elves around our precious ball-carrier. I fear I may have over-reached. A Thrower named Orastil Undoos Stuns Bran, and things are looking even more dire as they end the turn.


Turn 12

I try to ask Auluff to Blitz Rildion-T, but he just rages and stomps the ground so angrily that I think he might have decided that the earth has to die.

Pink happilly attacks Rission-C though, but he only manages to push him back. Silas gets up and gets in Belsathion’s face, while Jay-P punches Rildion-C in the stomach.

Okay, time to get crazy. Lovecrafter can’t stay there. That much is obvious. He has two elves right next to him, and three more than can move right up to him the next turn. The following series of screenshots will simply have alt-text for commentary.

Step one: very dangerous.

HUP! And... safe! Relatively.

Step two: technically not as dangerous, aside from Nuffle's temper.


... SAFE!!!

The lucky bugger. I honestly can’t believe it. Even though I just witnessed it. I kinda want to move him further, but… there’s honestly no safer place, unfortunately. Even just moving him one square further out would just make it easier for them to surround him. They can’t attack without a Blitz now though. Which they’ll probably do.

I try to chance a one-die on Alexander vs Horthien, but it results in a Pushed. Nothing gained, nothing lost. Handing the turn over.

Why can't these elves just die?

Rildion-C gets up, of course, though without Blitzing. I guess they would have needed more set-up first. The CPU doesn’t like one-die rolls any more than me.

Augdirdar does two go-for-its to get to Lovecrafter, and manages to roll a 6 on both of them. Grumble… and then Rildion-T Blitzes! Hah! Pushed and Attacker Down. Somehow Lovecrafter’s dice-luck is holding.

This did put him in range of Belsathion though, who can only do a one-die thanks to Silas’s Guard. Yet another Pushed, and this time Lovecrafter ends up in a much better position.

They try a few more tricks that amount to very little, and then end the turn.

So close...

Turn 13

Jay-P is right in the middle of six elves, yet thanks to his Guard he can still assist Silas with knocking down Rinthellerion. It’s a Both Down, so I’m not able to move in as I had hoped, but the elf is Stunned, so I’ll accept it.

Finally Auluff accepts the request to Blitz, and charges straight at Horthien. At first he only manages a push, but that does bring him right into the group, and then Jay-P’s Guard conspires with the Minotaur’s Horns to produce triple dice.

Horthien goes down, and with all the pushes that happened, there’s suddenly a lot less elves in close contact with Lovecrafter. And now that Jay-P can take advantage of Auluff’s Guard to two-dice Rildion-T…

This was a triumph...

Lovecrafter is free to move without any dodge rolls. So we head up the field, create half a cage with Alexander and Pink, and send Brutus up to cover another corner. He does have to make a go-for-it, but takes it in stride. Things are definitely looking up. Handing the turn over.

Escape master.

Rildion-T and Horthien jump up, and then Rission-C for some reason decides it’s a good idea to one-die Bran. Attacker Down, ouch. They re-roll, and…


Turn 14


Right, what sort of damage can we do? Auluff likes charging people, and Horthien is such a prime target. We start we a Pushed, and then the Frenzy kicks in.

Good enough.

Silas is now free to move up and help Bran get a two-dice against Alyan, which sadly only results in Attacker Down and Pushed. Seen a lot of that result this match, actually… curious.

I move the cage further up, and effectively out of easy reach for any of the elves except Alyan. I ponder just ending the turn right there, but… I have re-rolls. I could try to have Jay-P do a red two-dice against someone without Block. Like Rildion-T.


Holy hell, yes, re-roll!


See, boys and girls, this is you shouldn’t make dumb decisions like me. The re-roll gave the by-now-familiar result of Attacker Down and Pushed, so of course the Seahawks picked Attacker Down. This creates the problem of a lot of free elves.

Alyan dodges his way up to Alexander, and Augdirdar Blitzes along after him. With a Defender Stumbles they make our Dorf buddy lie down.

The free elves move up towards our makeshift cage, but for some reason the three around Auluff decide that because they can get one die against him, they should go for it.

Sometimes I wonder...

Turn 15

While it’s tempting to score right away, we need to hog the ball one more turn first.

Auluff pushes Rinthellerion back a few squares, Lovecrafter pushes Augdirdar away, and Pink Blitzes straight into Alyan, knocking him down.

I am fully aware of the trio standing just below us, and I need to try to block them off as best I can.

Far from elf-proof.

Not really much more I can do, so I hand the turn over to the buggers.

Augdirdar manages to find a way up, and Alyan moves close to Pink. Then Rildion-C attempts to run through a few tackle-zones to get up and around as well.


Yeah, Alexander put a stop to that.

Turn 16

Okay, we’ve got this. Final round to do damage. Bran attacks Belsathion and KO’s him. Silas goes after Rildion-T, and proceeds to give the blasted elf a Pinched Nerve.

Got what he deserved.

It’s nice to see another injury, even if it is this late.

Auluff knocks down and Stuns Rinthellerion, Pink knocks over Alyan, and Alexander trips up Augdirdar; leaving Lovecrafter free to run.

I do briefly consider risking a one-die with Jay-P vs Horthien, but they both have Block, so it’d likely result in nothing, or bad things. Even with a re-roll, I’m not risking victory for that. Go L.V.!


Such joy! We have essentially won, we just have to let the Seahawks play out their turn 16 as well.

All of our guys get up, and Lovecrafter is the only one knocked out by the heat this time. Well, considering the work he’s been doing, I’m not surprised. So we actually have a full compliment this time. The blasted elves don’t get anyone knocked out by the heat, though there is that one KO’d dude that didn’t get up.

I just shove everyone onto the line this time. Why not? Which leads to a peculiar result. Auluff gets to do the kick-off.

Amazed the ball didn't burst.

The kick-off event is Perfect Defence, but I don’t really feel like I need to rearrange anyone, so I just skip that.

They do actually go and pick up the ball, even though they don’t have enough Elf Bullshit™ to pull off a one-turn TD.

And then because they’re petty, Rinthellerion throws a red two-dice against Pink.


I don’t really like either of these results… but at least Both Down will end the match, and Pink does have Thick Skull.


Really? Reeeaaally? By Odin’s missing eye… ah well, it’s the final move of the game, there are no long-term effects, and the Puttymaker can be fixed up safely off the field in time for the next match. I don’t want to risk the Apothecary deciding to murder him. It does sorely annoy me that Rinthellerion managed to get 2 SPP from that. Anyway!


– – – END OF MATCH! – – –

While we won, the victory feels a bit hollow since we didn’t break that many elves. And we’d be moving on to Division 3 regardless.

We won 60 000 GP, giving us a total of 180 000, so we’ll get a new player for Division 3.

Our Fan Factor goes up to 5.

Alexander Bloodthirst is elected MVP, and got +5 SPP for a total of 16 SPP and a level-up.

L.V. Lovecrafter scored two TDs and got +6 SPP for a total of 6 SPP and a level-up.

Auluff caused one casualty and got +2 SPP for a total of 10 SPP.

Silas Punchreys caused one causalty and got +2 SPP for a total of 9 SPP.

Everyone else is unchanged.


Lovecrafter goes up to level 2, and becomes another Blockgoblin. They’re useful.

Alexander goes up to level 3, gets Mighty Blow, and a new outfit.


Skills of the Day

Since we’ve just played an elf team full of pass-heavy Elf Bullshit™, let’s take a look at a couple of passing-related skills.


Pass let’s the player automatically re-roll if they fumble the ball or throw an inaccurate pass. Basically doubles your chances of making a successful pass.


Catch let’s the player automatically re-roll if they fail to catch the ball. It can also provide a re-roll if they fail to grab a hand-off, or fail an intercept.

We did it. We are moving on to Division 3, with five new teams to go up against.

This is normally where I’d tell you who our next match is up against, but I plan to do a little in-between-divisions interlude for my next post, where I’ll introduce our new player, talk about how everyone is doing, and quickly mention the teams of Division 3, and which one we’re facing first.

Match 4

Interlude 1

Match 6



Posted on April 25, 2013, in Games and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Reference is probably to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zulu_%281964_film%29

    And dammit, I didn’t get to do /anything/ this time… :.(

    • No need to worry, my friend. Now that all Hobs have one level-up, I am going to minimise risk by making you the main ball carrier, by virtue of your +1 Agility.

      It was a shame about the Sweltering Heat this time, of course, putting you out for the entire second half.

  1. Pingback: Wulf Space Jam – Match 4: Vs Ragnarite Pythons (Norse) | Wulf Space

  2. Pingback: Wulf Space Jam – Interlude: End of Division 4 | Wulf Space

  3. Pingback: Wulf Space Jam – Match 6: Vs Marauding Mashers (Chaos) | Wulf Space

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