Kurovadis – Starter Guide and Sorta Review
Warning: ADULTS ONLY!
You have been warned.
I am not ashamed to admit that I dabble in the occasional porn game, and I would venture that several of you have as well. I wouldn’t normally write about them though, because as games they tend to be utter drek, and are only worth it for the porn, something the creators surely know.
I did come upon a blog of someone trying to make porn games that are better as games though, and they linked to some other sites as well, that I started checking out one day I was bored. And such I found Kurovadis, a Metroidvania created by someone going by the moniker Kyrieru.
As you can see, the menu is very sparse. There are no options. No way to check keybindings. There’s no readme file attached either. So I figured before I’d do a short starter guide for the controls and a few other important things. I’ll mark where the review itself starts, if you want to just skip to that.
— GUIDE STARTS HERE —
This is the screen where you wake up, and at the beginning you can only do a few things:
Arrow keys move you left and right.
X lets you jump.
C lets you shoot. The top-left circle under HP shows you how much charge your gun has.
V is melee attack. Holding V will let you charge up a power-punch. Down + V makes you punch the ground, or whom-/whatever you’re standing on.
H makes you fall over, and you must tap the arrow keys to get back up. Alternating keys gets you up faster. I will explain this further when we get to enemies.
Enter opens stat screen. More on that later.
Escape quits the game without prompt.
This is a save station. While you’re at a distance, they’re retracted so you only see the top, but when you get close they pop up and you can go inside. I’m sure that has no significance. While inside you can press Down to save your progress and refill your HP.
If you see this white glow from a door, that means it leads to a save station.
These are the first enemy types you encounter. The grey zombies are largely harmless, as their attack animation is slow, but the wall crawlers can be annoying, since they have eerily good aim. A charged melee attack will deal with either of these in one blow, but charged blaster shots also dispatch them quickly, and can often be a better option for the wall crawlers.
Now here’s where the falling-over mechanic comes into play. If you press H to fall over you will be immune to damage, but most enemies can now grab you and have their way with you. They will also try to knock you over for this reason. But when you break free from their grip, they are stunned for a moment, and you are still invulnerable for a moment as well, so I would use the falling-over as a tactic to draw enemies close and then dispatch them quickly. And even have time to fall over again if they’re not dead.
Or maybe you just want to watch the porn happening. While most enemies are harmless in this state, there are a few that will actually cause damage to you this way.
Most notably this thing. If you can at all avoid it, do not let it grab you. It’s close to impossible to break away before it causes damage, and it causes a lot, especially since you meet it so early in the game. Luckily they can’t climb or fly, or anything like that.
Now you might have noticed the little percentage number being different in some of these screenshots. That’s your experience indicator. Every time you reach 100% you level up, and gain +5 Max Health and 2 Stat Points.
The Enter Key opens the stat screen, and here you can change weapons (when you get them) and assign stat points. I typically put more into ATK and DEF than CON and CHG, but that’s up to you.
ATK increases your attack power, both with ranged and melee.
DEF reduces the damage you take.
CON gives you another +5 Max Health per point.
CHG reduces the charge time on your blaster, but I don’t think it affects your melee charge-up.
You can also get stat points from certain pick-ups. The following video shows me using the two first skills acquired; Roll and Wall-Jump; to acquire one such powerup.
See, normal wall-jumps wouldn’t get you across the gap between those two walls, but if you time the roll for just after you’ve hit jump, you will fly across and easily scale the walls.
That should be everything you need to get started, so let’s do the review thing.
— REVIEW STARTS HERE —
Kurovadis is a Metroidvania with areas and enemies inspired from both Metroid and Castlevania games, plus some that I believe to be original. It’s short, with a full run taking a little over an hour if you’re trying to get everything you can, and perhaps under half an hour if you’re speed-running.
And honestly it’s the best Metroidvania I’ve played in a while, at least until I started on Dust. As it’s the creator’s first project, I am impressed at how well-realised the whole thing is. I would be interested in seeing a sequel where he/she expands upon the concepts and just adds more stuff.
Apart from the occasional frustrating platforming section, I quite enjoyed the level design, and the enemy design and behaviour was nicely varied as well. And I had fun with the upgrades, the weapons especially, and the bosses take some actual practice and skill to do right, especially since I didn’t learn how to use Stat Points until I got stuck on the second boss and checked Youtube for guides. Thankfully there’s always a Save Station right outside the boss room so you can try as much as you want with as little punishment as possible.
On the downside there’s no map to refer to, so you need to memorise the routes and save stations, and where you remember seeing powerups and areas you previously couldn’t access. This is mitigated by the small size of the game, but I was fairly confused my first time through. I would recommend backtracking or taking a side route to a save station whenever you do anything significant, because even on Very Easy it’s quick to end up in a situation that just kills you if you’re unlucky, impatient or overconfident.
And the porn is quite good as well, though apart from a few game-over CG screens, it’s all pixel porn, so I think you’d need a good imagination to get the most out of it.
So while I wouldn’t call Kurovadis a great game, it’s certainly a good game, especially for a porn game, and if you’re interested in something like that, you can get the demo from the dev blog, which can be upgraded to the full version if you like it.
The creator’s newest game; Eroico; is also up there, and while that’s decent, I didn’t like it as much. There’s a demo for that as well.
Just don’t expect me to make a habit of writing about porn games.